Virtual Chemistry: The Intimacy of Cam Chat Rooms in Online Dating

     The online world has come a long way since its public introduction in the 1990s. Back in the day you could search the net and send emails not knowing whether they have been read or not. The world of online communication has developed in such a way that we can meet and talk with people from all over the world. The responses can come just as fast as face-to-face communication. The introduction of online chat rooms revolutionized the ability for people to make meaningful connections. Add in the introduction of cams and you have a wonderful environment that allows you to meet and communicate with people from every walk of life.

Some of you may be wondering what we are talking about. What is a chat room? What do you mean by cam chat rooms? Well, let us enlighten you and open your eyes to the wonderful world of cam chat rooms. Online chat rooms work in the same way as instant messaging apps such as WhatsApp. You send a message to an online friend, and they read it and respond immediately. Think of it as a conversation using any device with an internet connection. By cam we mean camera. This way your conversation is more like a real conversation as you use a camera and can see the person you are talking to in real time. In our cam rooms, you immediately connect with webcams and can speak with each other in real-time. 

Your Opening Comment

The thing that sets our cam rooms apart from normal chat rooms is that you are talking with your voice rather than typing out messages. You still have the option to type messages but our cam rooms tend to rely more on the use of a camera. Whether typing or speaking you need to make sure your first message goes well and doesn’t force the other person to disappear! Here are a few tips for your first message in our cam rooms.

• Stick to the norm - opening with a very normal “Hey, how are you today?”. However, be careful with this as it can come across as lacking creativity and some people could be put off by this. 
• Use their profile - this is a fantastic way of starting your conversation as it shows you have taken the time to find out more about them. Using phrases such as “I notice from your profile that…” or “You have written in your profile that…” shows that you have read a bit about them and want to know more. Just make sure you are not too direct or personal with this.
• Would you rather questions are wonderful as long as you keep them clean? You have two choices here, make them funny or make them thought-provoking. You could ask things like “Would you rather know now but when you were 15 or £5 million in the bank right now?” or “Would you rather cure cancer or solve world hunger?”. Yes, the second of these is very serious but it is also thought-provoking and could cause a response and discussion to follow. You could approach this differently and ask “Would you rather have the flippers of a seal or the neck of a giraffe?”, this would make the other person laugh, respond, and probably ask you back. 
• General, open-ended questions offer more chances of a response as they feel a bit more normal. They also provide a lot of information. You could ask “How is your life going right now?”. They can give as much or as little information as they wish and, most likely, will respond in a similar fashion. You must remember that if they only talk about themselves and do not ask you anything in return then this is a red flag!
• Deep questioning can be excellent if done at the right time and correctly. You can ask the other person “What is your biggest success in life so far?”. You will see from their reaction if they are happy to answer this. Just make sure you are not too personal too soon. 

The above are just a few ideas for your opening line. You could use their profile picture or information to inform your first message. If you connect via camera before ever meeting via messages you could try and be quick and use what you see to inform your first message. JUst try not to be too personal, rude or offensive! While your first comment/ verbal message is important, so is everyone after that! Here are just a few more tips to follow!

• Be respectful: you must treat the other person the same way online as you would in ‘the real world’. Be polite, listen, and respond accordingly. We would say that respect is the number one factor to keep in mind when chatting to anyone online.
• No rude jokes: Keep it clean, this includes photos, jokes, and comments. If you are rude, whether as a joke or not, you are likely to lose the other person as they will feel you do not respect them. 
• Make it interesting: A bored person is a person who walks away from your conversations. You need to keep their interest by asking insightful, open questions and listening carefully. Demonstrate that you have listened through making relevant comments, and asking questions relating to previous conversations or what you see in their profile.
• Make it relevant: don’t focus on the past or comment on something completely irrelevant. They need to know that you are interested in them and not clutching at straws. 

Consider your body language at all times. If you are talking via camera they will see your every move. You want to make sure your body language shows that you are interested in what they are saying and make sure you are not trying to secretly look at your phone or watch TV!

Your Profile and How You Present Yourself on Camera

• Your profile picture is the first thing that any prospective cam dates will look at. While we shouldn’t base our desire to speak with someone on how they look it will happen. Therefore, you need to make sure you think carefully about how you show yourself in your profile, and any other photos. In this section, we will also cover how you should portray yourself on camera (in terms of appearance, etc) to show that you give yourself the best chance possible of establishing a meaningful connection. Let's focus on the things to do first:
• Make sure your photos are high quality and as clear as possible. It is also a good idea to make sure that at least one of your photos is a full-length portrait with you smiling! Also, make sure the photo is recent!! In terms of presenting yourself on camera make sure that your camera is clear!
• Your profile picture could show you doing something that you love. These give an insight into your interests and hobbies while providing a topic of conversation. If you love hiking in the hills then show this. Just make sure that whichever hobby you show in your photos is a hobby that you actually do. 
• If you are an active person then show this in your pictures. Now, we do not mean you should be flashing your abs or flexing your muscles. Again, this demonstrates an interest of yours while also providing the opportunity for the other person to ask you questions. 
• Pictures of family, friends, and pets are always a good thing! They give your profile credibility while also giving an insight into your character, principles, and approach to life. 

This next point is more regarding how you present yourself on camera. You must make sure you wear suitable clothing and are always clothed. We do not mean you have to be dressed in your Sunday best or draped in Versace. This also does not mean you can be sat in clothes that are ripped or very scruffy. Make sure you are dressed appropriately at all times.

The next few points are things to avoid when posting a photo in our cam chat rooms. They may also relate to how you present yourself online and what not to do!

• Selfies are a bit of a grey area. There is such a thing as a bad selfie. If you are naked/ semi-naked or doing something illegal. You want any selfies you post to send the right message about who you are as a person. 
• You want to completely avoid looking superficial or that you are trying to show off your wealth. This goes for your photos as well as how you present yourself on camera. In your pictures you should avoid posing in front of flash cars, surrounded by money, or showing off expensive things. On camera, you should avoid having expensive things all around you or piles of cash. You want the other person to like you for being you. If you do any of the above you are likely to cause people to walk away or attract the wrong sort of person!
• We touched on this earlier. In both respects, you need to avoid being naked or semi-naked. If you have a great body, congratulations, but your photos should not show this. Also, sitting on camera showing off your body is not the way to go! You will either make people feel you are vain and only care about looks or you will attract people that are only interested in your appearance! Don’t rush into taking your clothes off, that can wait until you are both ready later on!
• No hiding in either your photos or on camera. In your photos do not squat or kneel down. Make sure you can be clearly seen and not appear to be hiding something. The same goes for your time on camera during conversations. If all the other person can see is your face or half face and half the background it will appear that you are hiding something. Make sure the other person can clearly see you at all times.
• Check your background. While on camera make sure that your background does not have something that may offend or upset the other person You also need to make sure that you do not have the TV on or are looking at something else during your cam conversation, You need to give the other person your fullest attention. 

Questioning

     The types of questions you use in our cam chat rooms should not differ from those in our other rooms or those you may ask in real life for that matter. We, as adults, ask around 25 to 30 questions every single day. You want your questions to count while also not leading to upset. Here you have the added pressure that you can see your new friend's physical reaction (e.g. facial expressions etc) to your questions. You will know instantly how they feel about them! First, let us focus on the sort of questions you can ask!

• Normal, everyday questions are okay as long as you do not focus on them too much. Asking how the other person is fine, in fact, it is expected. However, if you rely on ‘normal’ questions all the time your online friend could get bored.
• Ask about their family. Be careful with this, if you bring up the subject of family and notice they look uneasy or uncomfortable then avoid the topic. Ask if they have siblings etc but do not dig too deep too soon!
• Ask about their job. It is normal to want to find out what your cam chat room friend does for a living. It is also an easy subject for them to talk about it as they will know it inside out. It should also spark them to ask you about your line of work. This shows you are interested in the more serious side of their life and not just the sociable, possibly more fun, side. 
• If you want to be a bit more creative you could use would you rather questions, as long as they are not rude or offensive. You could be quite serious with these questions, such as “Would you rather solve world hunger or cure a disease?”. These could spark an interesting discussion or comments to be made. You could also be funny with these questions, “Would you rather have toes for fingers or fingers for toes?”. You can gauge their reaction from their facial expressions and either approach could, and should, spark a discussion.

The important thing to remember is that sometimes it is not what we ask that makes the difference but what we do not ask! You do not want them switching off their camera and disappearing so make sure to avoid the following questions.

• Intrusive questions can lead to disconnections. This is where you treat your cam chat rooms like a virtual interview. You should not ask very personal questions such as how much money they make a month, why their relationships haven’t worked or their viewpoint on having children. Some of these questions will be acceptable once you have a long-standing relationship based on mutual trust. 
• Any questions of a sexual nature should be avoided at all costs. You should not ask about any previous experiences or discuss preferences. You will find your cam room friend will disappear as they want to build a relationship based on trust and respect, not questions about sexual behavior.
• Try not to be boring. This can be difficult as some people find comfort in asking safe questions. However, if you constantly ask about the weather or what they ate that day you will end up boring your cam room friend and probably lose them. 

These are just a few ideas of questions to avoid. Remember, if it feels like you should not ask a question….don’t!

What to Talk About?!

During our everyday conversations with friends, family, and colleagues we will talk about pretty much any topic. There is often no grey area unless we know that the other person will be upset or offended by a particular topic. Having an established relationship means you can disagree without causing an issue. In an online cam room, this is not the case, at least not in the beginning, as you will not have this established friendship and understanding. You need to know enough about who you are talking to in order to fully understand which topics are okay to discuss and which should be avoided. Here are a few areas that should be okay to discuss!

• Ask them about the events of their day or week. Not only are these interesting but they are easy to talk about for the other person as it is something concrete that they know without any pressure. It should also cause them to ask about the same thing which in turn will create a back-and-forth conversation for you and your cam friend. You can ask “How was work today?”, “What is one thing that made you smile today?” or “Tell me a funny story from work this week”. You could also ask for advice about your line of work (even if you don’t need it). Many people relax and actually enjoy the idea of helping others. 
• Discuss future plans… no, not plans about marriage, children, and a house with a good-sized garden. You could talk about what you are going to get up to at the weekend or later in the week. Ask what they have planned. You may stumble across similar interests and have even more to talk about. Hopefully, after a while, you may end up making joint plans away from the cam chat rooms. 
• Discuss positive and/ or funny memories/ stories from your past. This could encourage them to ask questions or to open up about their own past. Discussing similar experiences or asking about other memories could create a flowing conversation whereby you both learn more about each other. Just make sure to not dig too deep here or push to find out more if they are resistant. In a cam chat room, it is easier to spot this as you can read their facial expressions and body language. 
• Random topics are good as long as you don’t become boring…don’t focus on the weather! You could discuss films, music, a new recipe or sports. Now, before you ask no, do not bring up politics… not yet! This is a normal form of communication which will make your new friend feel more comfortable but make sure you do not become boring. 
• You can always discuss elements of the profile. As long as you have read it properly you can bring up things they have said such as an interest or you can ask more about it. This is easy for them to talk about and is a topic they have already shared. 

Here are just a few topics you should probably avoid, at least until a connection is made so that you do not cause your friend to disconnect!

• Keep it clean. You should avoid any rude jokes or comments as your online friend is likely to walk away. Keep your jokes on the appropriate side so that you do not lose a potential connection.
• You need to avoid being too direct as the other person may feel like they are being interviewed or grilled for information. You should not discuss how much money they earn if they had the Covid-19 vaccination, or why they are not married yet. These topics can come in time if and when the conversation steers in this direction. You will also need to wait until you both trust each other enough to talk about such personal subjects. 
• As we have mentioned before you need to avoid being boring! Don’t focus on the weather or closed questions. Asking “Do you like films?” will only get one of two responses, yes or no. You do not want to bore the other person into leaving. 

Talk about their day but don’t just say “I had a good day today” or “What did you do today?”. These are boring questions/ comments that lack creativity and will not impress your cam chat room friend. 

Safety is the Key!

      Some people enter the online world and suddenly feel they can act in a completely different way to the real world. This is certainly not the case in our cam chat rooms. When using our cam chat rooms your first priority should be to make sure you are safe at all times. You will also want to make sure that the other person feels safe as well. Now, at our website we do everything within our power to make sure all of our users not only feel safe but are safe when using our services. We have a contact service for any issues that arise and monitor our users, making sure they have not had any prior instances of abusing others. If you feel like something is not right then please contact us with details of the issue.  Here are some things you need to be aware of to make sure you are always safe when using a cam chat room.

• Bank details - Let’s be honest, you would not walk up to a complete stranger in the street and give them your sort code, account number, and the four-digit PIN for your bank card. The same rules apply when using our online chat rooms. In all honesty, if someone is genuinely interested in making a connection with you they will not be asking you for financial assistance or details at any point in your conversations. People who do this can sometimes be very clever in order to benefit from you. They will make you feel sorry for them and create a desire within you to help them. If you notice this happening you have three options (but only one right choice really). 1. Give them the money, this is a massive risk that could cause you financial and/ or mental health issues. 2. Call them out on it and ask what their intentions are etc but be warned, if they want to scam you for your money they will lie convincingly or 3. Stop the chat immediately and contact us so we can sort it out for you and protect others!
• Photos - this is becoming an ever-growing issue in the online world as others will use photos against others. People share inappropriate photos of themselves with others. They do this because they think the other person is genuinely interested/ in love with them or to get positive attention. More often than not all that happens is the sender feels bad or dirty for sending such a photo and ends up regretting it a great deal. The other possibility is that the receiver uses them to blackmail the sender financially. These photos could be used for any number of inappropriate purposes that could ruin your career and your mental health so think before you send them. 
• Meeting offline - be careful and make sure you have established a long-term relationship and are happy that they are who they say they are. We check our members thoroughly but we do not know them as a person. If the time comes that you both agree to meet offline you should also agree to have chaperones, and meet during the day and in a public place. Please do not be scared by this part. We hope that 100% of matches can lead to meeting offline and establishing long-term, successful relationships. If someone asks to meet offline after only a few days, this could be a red flag.

We hope that you have found this article regarding our cam chat rooms interesting, informative and useful. We want all of our members to have the best experience possible while using all of our services. Just remember to always chat in a respectful, kind manner and in a way that you would like to be treated. Good luck in our cam chat rooms and we hope you find someone you can make a long-lasting connection with!