New Zealand's Chat Room Adventures

     Do you come from the wonderful island of New Zealand and are looking to meet new people to share stories and laughs with? Are you interested in dating people from New Zealand and finding out more about ‘God’s Own Country’? Chat rooms are a fantastic way of meeting and chatting with people from the same city or country as you. They can also be used to meet people from all over the world. You can make connections with people from all walks of life that you may otherwise not have had the chance to meet while learning about different cultures. All you need is an internet connection and a device such as a laptop, tablet, or phone. 

It could be that you are reading this and thinking to yourself ‘What do they mean by a chat room?!’. Well, have no fear, we are here to explain! It is likely that you have a phone or Facebook and will have used instant messaging applications such as WhatsApp. Chat rooms work in the same way. You and the other person chat in real time, sending messages back and forth like a face-to-face conversation. You can also send pictures to each other and talk to multiple people at the same time. In a chat room, you create a profile with information about yourself and attach a photo. Profiles are used by others to see if you both could make a connection. If this sounds of interest to you then read on to find useful information about our New Zealand chat rooms. 

First Impressions Count for Everything!

     When we first meet someone even on a dating site we all make an immediate judgment about them. It is said that it only takes a tenth of a second to form a first impression. We feel like it may take a little bit longer than this in our chat rooms as you are not face-to-face, you can only base your judgment on what they say and the profile information you can see. However, while you may only be messaging online, a first impression will still be made very quickly. You must make sure your first message is memorable, relevant, and polite. You want the other person to be immediately interested in you and want to find out more. You need to avoid them yawning at the first message and not answering!

• Simple yet effective. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t? A simple “Hello, how are you today?” is okay as it comes with no pressure or expectation. However, be careful when using the everyday approach as this could be seen as lacking creativity. It could be said that you should combine the basics with some more creative approaches in order to receive a response.
• Don’t be vague. Being more specific is more likely to get you a response. If you start with ‘I notice that…’ or ‘You have written in your profile that’ you are showing them that you took the time to read their profile and want to know more about them. Avoid being vague or they will end up avoiding you! The specific approach will get you a response as long as you do not come across as rude or invasive. 
• Would you rather?... But, don’t be rude! These are excellent openers as they are either funny, thought-provoking, or both! Asking questions such as Would you rather you could fly or run really fast? Would you rather have £100,000,000 right now or be 12 again with all the information you have now? Would you rather wear a green leprechaun hat every day or fairy wings? Okay, so the last one is a bit of fun but is still a question that could get a response! Just make sure you keep these sorts of questions clean, polite, and interesting!
• Deep questioning. This can be risky so make sure to be careful when asking these questions! If you ask someone why they are still single or why they have never been married your New Zealand friend could feel they are being interviewed! You could ask ‘What is the most meaningful event in your life so far’. These questions can be highly effective but also risky, think carefully. 

General, open questions - these are wonderful as long as they are not relied upon. A simple ‘What was the highlight of your day?’ or ‘What makes you smile the most?’ is open-ended enough that the other person feels comfortable answering them while understanding that they can give as much or as little information as they wish. 

The above advice relates, mostly, to your first message but there are other things you need to consider during your chats.

• Be respectful. You must treat the other person in the same way online as you would in ‘the real world’. People from New Zealand want to feel respected and listened to. We would say that respect is the number one factor to keep in mind when chatting to anyone online.
• No rude jokes. If you are going to joke with your New Zealand friends then keep them clean. Make sure you keep away from rude comments, jokes, and photos (more on these later) so that you do not come across as too much of a joker or someone who is always rude.  
• Make it interesting. A bored person is a person who disconnects. You need to keep their interest by asking insightful, open questions and listening carefully. Demonstrate that you have listened through making relevant comments, and asking questions relating to previous conversations or what you see in their profile. People from New Zealand will want to feel listened to and will disappear when this is not happening.
• Make it relevant. Don’t focus on the past or comment on something completely irrelevant. They need to know that you are interested in them and not clutching at straws or talking too much about yourself!

A Picture Is Louder Than Words!

In an online chat room, a picture can either lead to an instant connection or an instant disconnection from the chat room. Your photo is of vital importance and no, not because they will judge your looks. Your photo will be the first thing the other person notices and could be the difference between a conversation and silence. It is said that it takes a person less than a second to make a judgment about a person. It could be said this is even quicker when looking at a photo. Let’s first focus on what to avoid doing in your photos so your New Zealand counterpart doesn’t ignore your initial message!

The Do's and Don'ts for the Perfect Profile Picture

To Ask or Not to Ask?

Asking questions is the basis of every aspect of our day-to-day living. On average we, as adults, ask around 25 to 35 questions a day(!) so we need to make sure that they all count. You want to make sure your New Zealand match does not feel like they are being interviewed or interrogated but rather an equal part of an interesting conversation. Here are some questions that you should consider if you want to make a meaningful connection in our New Zealand chat rooms. 

• ‘How are you today?’ - Now this is not suitable for a first message (lacks creativity) but is still a good question once a connection is made. You can ask your New Zealand friends how they are, what they’ve been up to etc which shows your genuine interest in them. Proceed with caution though as you do not want them to get bored or irritated by repeating the same question.
• Asking about their family - Remember, New Zealanders love their family and want to find a match who shares this ideal. When you first start chatting you can ask about their siblings, which part of New Zealand they grew up in etc. However, make sure you are not too personal with these questions as you do not want them to feel forced into giving information they are not ready to share. Ask general questions until you are both ready to share more.
• Everyday life - ask your New Zealand friend about their job or hobbies. If you are unaware of their line of work you can ask questions that give a bit more information. This shows you are interested in their work and not just the social aspects. If you are in a similar line of work you could share stories. Just make sure you do not get too personal such as asking how much they earn or why they haven’t been promoted yet. 
• Tell me one thing that….questions. As long as you are not rude or intrusive these can be excellent, especially as an opening question. ‘Tell me one thing that made you smile today’ is excellent and can be answered in as little or as much detail as is desired. Respect what they have to say and they will speak with you more!
• Ask about New Zealand - if you are not from New Zealand you could ask about the beautiful island. They will appreciate your interest in their homeland and will enjoy telling you more! They may even then ask you about your homeland as well.

Sometimes it is what we do not say or ask that is most important. There are some questions you will want to make sure to avoid in order to keep the conversation going! Here are just a few to consider.

1. Don’t be intrusive - yes, you will want to find out more about your New Zealand friend but there is being interested and then there is just being rude. Intrusive questions are those that have an answer that is very personal such as ‘How much money do you earn each month?’. Some intrusive questions can be asked but only when you have an established friendship. You can ask about past relationships or interests in having children when you and your New Zealand friend have a more established connection. 
2. Sex - People from New Zealand will not want to share any information about their sex lives, at least not until you have a very secure relationship as they feel this is information you only share with those you completely trust. If you ask questions of this nature you are likely to scare the other person away. Our New Zealand users want to match with people based on trust and mutual respect.
3. Stay relevant and interesting - Yes, you can ask general questions about their day or what the weather is like where they are but not all the time (it doesn’t change that much!). If these sorts of questions are the foundation of all your conversations your new connection will quickly become an old connection. Our New Zealand members are laid back but they do not want to be bored!

Just remember, if it sounds wrong to ask then it probably is!

What and What not to Talk about. Which Topics do You Choose?

When you are chatting with those who know you very well, any topic is fair game, unless you already know it will cause upset or arguments. You can start a debate knowing that everyone will still be friendly at the end (hopefully!). The same cannot be said about certain topics in the online world, especially chat rooms. You need to make sure you do not upset or offend someone. This could push them away. Here are a few topics that could be successful or are appropriate to discuss in our New Zealand chat rooms.

• Ask about their day - it is certainly acceptable to ask the other person how their day has been or what their week has been like. This topic is okay as it is general conversation but make sure not to rely on this as it can get pretty boring if it is the only topic. Asking what the weather's like in Auckland is fine but if you ask every day it gets mundane. You can change your approach and ask ‘‘what made you smile today?’ or ‘How can I make your day better today?’.
• Future plans - no, not discussions about marriage or plans to have children, that can come later. Ask them what their plans are for the weekend or where they plan to go on holiday. If you have established that you have similar interests this can make the conversation one that bounces back and forth with ease. If you both live in New Zealand these conversations could lead to joint plans together.
• Ask about New Zealand - if you are not from New Zealand then the perfect topic for you to bring up is the incredible island itself. They will feel comfortable being able to talk about their own country which gives them the chance to ask insightful questions and learn new information. You can also discuss where you are from and the conversation will have a good back and forth with you both asking questions and making comparisons.
• Childhood - you can discuss your childhood and the events of your life as you grew up but tread carefully. If they did not have a positive experience and are not ready to share this with you yet they may be withdrawn or cut off from this topic. Do this carefully, maybe mentioning funny or interesting stories but do not push for information if it is clear they do not want to give it. 
• Random topics are good - we do not just mean the weather, yawn! You could talk about a film you have seen, your favorite artist's latest album or the amazing recipe you are going to try, or which spiders to avoid in New Zealand. You need to keep the conversations relevant and interesting so do not fixate on one topic all of the time and certainly do not concentrate on yourself!

It is important to remember that some areas are a definite no. You do not want to cause upset, anger, or distress. You also do not want to cause the other person to stop talking with you. Here are some topics to avoid!

• X - Being rude in general - New Zealanders do not like rude or vulgar behavior. They will not appreciate rude or inappropriate jokes or comments, especially in the beginning.  You need to keep your jokes and comments relevant and clean or potentially lose your new friend.
• X - Politics and religion - Unless you enter into one of our religion chat rooms then these two areas are probably best to avoid, at least until you know each other better or in person. Politics and religion can be very divisive, especially when two people do not have a connection that they want to keep. In short, both of you may be less tolerant of differing views with someone new. Avoid these topics until your connection is strong enough to withstand any disagreements. 
• X - Overly direct or personal - asking how much they earned last year or whether they had all of the COVID-19 jabs are not only extremely personal but are asking for information most people do not wish to share. You do not want your New Zealand friends to feel like you are interviewing them or searching for personal information to benefit yourself. Keep the questions relevant and not too personal! 

When you have spent some time chatting with your New Zealand friend and you have established a secure friendship you can discuss topics that are a bit more sensitive. However, make sure you ask if it is okay to broach certain topics. They will respect your courteous approach and want to chat with you more. 

Your Safety is Paramount

Some people enter the online world and suddenly feel that the rules no longer apply! This is certainly not the case in our chat rooms. When using our New Zealand chat rooms your first priority should be to make sure you are safe and not at risk. You also want to make sure that the other person feels safe as well. Now, at chatandmatch.com we do everything within our power to make sure all of our users not only feel safe but are safe at all times. We have a contact service for any issues that arise and we monitor our users, making sure they have not had any prior instances of abusing others. Here are some things to consider to make sure you are safe.

1. Bank details - You would not walk up to a complete stranger in the street and give them your sort code, account number and the four digit pin for your bank card. The same rules apply when using our online chat rooms. In all honesty, if someone is genuinely interested in making a connection with you they will not be asking you for financial assistance in any way. People who do this can sometimes be very clever. They will make you feel sorry for them and create a desire to help them. If you notice this happening you have three options. 1. Give them the money, this is a massive risk that could cause you financial and/ or mental health issues. 2. Call them out on it and ask what their intentions are etc but be warned, if they want to scam you for your money they will lie convincingly or 3. Stop the chat immediately and contact us!
2. Photos - this is becoming an ever-growing issue in the online world. People share inappropriate photos of themselves with others or use others' images inappropriately. They do this because they think the other person is genuinely interested/ in love with them or to get positive attention. More often than not all that happens is the sender feels bad or dirty for sending such a photo and ends up regretting it a great deal. These photos could be used for any number of inappropriate purposes that could ruin your career and your mental health. 
3. Meeting offline - be careful and make sure you have established a long-term relationship and are happy that they are who they say they are. We check our members thoroughly but we do not know them as a person. If the time comes that you both agree to meet offline you should also agree to have chaperones, and meet during the day and in a public place. Please do not be scared by this part. We hope that 100% of matches can lead to meeting offline and establishing long-term, successful relationships. If someone asks to meet offline after only a few days then this could be a red flag.

We hope that you have found this article regarding our New Zealand chat rooms interesting and informative. We want all of our members to have the best experience possible while using our services. Just remember to always chat in a respectful, kind manner and in a way that you would like to be treated. Good luck in our New Zealand chat rooms and we hope you find someone you can make a long-lasting connection with!