Exploring Dating Chat Rooms by Age

     Age is but a number for most people. However, most of the time we enjoy spending time with those of a similar age to ourselves. It is not often you see a 22-year-old spending a lot of time with (or talking to) a 62-year-old (this still happens and certainly should happen!). At Chatandmatch we have chat rooms that cater to different age groups so that you can find people of a similar age to yourself. This way you can find people who will have similar life experiences, principles, and goals as yourself. Many people in the older generations prefer to talk with others of a similar age as they are more likely to have similar interests. It is also important to remember that you can still chat with people in different age categories. 

It could be that you are reading this and thinking to yourself ‘What do they mean by a chat room?!’. Well, have no fear, we are here to explain! It is likely that you have a phone or Facebook and will have used instant messaging applications such as WhatsApp. Chat rooms work in the same way. You and the other person chat in real time, sending messages back and forth like a face-to-face conversation. You can also send pictures to each other and talk to multiple people at the same time. In a chat room, you create a profile with information about yourself and attach a photo. Profiles are used by others to see if you both could make a connection. If this sounds of interest to you then read on to find useful information about our chat rooms. 

First Impressions Count for Everything!

     When we first meet someone we all make an immediate judgement about them, no matter what our age. It is said that it only takes a tenth of a second to form a first impression. We feel like it may take a little bit longer than this in our chat rooms as you are not face-to-face, you can only base your judgment on what they say and the profile information you can see. However, while you may only be messaging online, a first impression will still be made very quickly. You must make sure your first message is memorable, relevant, and polite. You want the other person to be immediately interested in you and want to find out more. You need to avoid them yawning at the first message and not answering! It is important to remember that while we are discussing different age chat rooms, all of the below are important. Age does not define your ability to make a good first impression!

  • Simple yet effective - Whether you are in your twenties or seventies A simple “Hello, how are you today?” is always welcome, especially when meeting someone for the first time. However, be careful when using the everyday approach as this could be seen as lacking creativity, especially in our younger chat rooms. It could be said that you should combine the basics with some more creative approaches in order to receive a response. Our older users are less likely to be put off by this question too often but still tread carefully. 
  • Don’t be vague- being more specific is more likely to get you a response, especially with our more mature users. If you start with ‘I notice that…’ or ‘You have written in your profile that’ you are showing them that you took the time to read their profile and want to know more about them. Our older users will certainly appreciate your genuine interest and conscious effort to find out more. Avoid being vague or they will end up avoiding you! 
  • Would you rather?... But, don’t be rude! - these are excellent openers as they are either funny, thought-provoking, or both! Asking questions such as "Would you rather fly or run really fast?", and "Would you rather have £100,000,000 right now or be 12 again with all the information you have now?", "Would you rather wear a green leprechaun hat every day or fairy wings?" Okay, so the last one is a bit of fun but is still a question that could get a response! Which one you ask may depend on your age category but please remember that our mature users will still enjoy the humorous approach! Just make sure you keep these sorts of questions clean, polite, and interesting!
  • Deep questioning - this can be risky so make sure to be careful when asking these questions! You do not want your new friends to feel like they are being interviewed! You don’t want to ask our older users why they are single. You can ask questions such as “What are you passionate about?” which will give you a good insight into who they are without putting too much pressure on them. 
  • General, open questions  - These can be wonderful as long as they are not relied upon. People of any age appreciate a simple ‘What was the highlight of your day?’ or ‘What makes you smile the most?’. These are open-ended enough that the other person feels comfortable answering them while understanding that they can give as much or as little information as they wish. In our younger chat rooms, they may enjoy these questions more than some others as they tend to have more active, event-filled days than our more mature users. 

The above advice relates, mostly, to your first message but there are other things you need to consider during your chats in our range of chat rooms!

  • Be respectful - you must treat the other person in the same way online as you would in ‘the real world’, no matter which age group you are in. Everyone, no matter how old, wants to feel respected and we consider respect to be the most important aspect in all of our chat rooms. 
  • No rude jokes - whether you are a jokey 23-year-old or a cheeky 68 year old you must refrain from any rude jokes or comments. You can be cheeky or jokey without relying on crude jokes. You can have fun and demonstrate your sense of humor without being rude. You do not want to offend the other person!  
  • Make it interesting - just because you are talking with someone in their later years does not mean your conversations need to be mundane or boring. Keep it interesting for your age category but don’t stick with the obvious choices. 
  • Make it relevant - don’t focus on the past or comment on something completely irrelevant, especially when chatting with our older members. They need to know that you are interested in them and not clutching at straws or talking too much about yourself!

A Picture Can Speak Volumes!

    In an online chat room, a picture can either lead to an instant connection or failure to start a conversation. Your photo is of vital importance and no, not because they will judge your looks. Your photo will be the first thing the other person notices and could be the difference between a conversation and silence. It is said that it takes a person less than a second to make a judgment about a person. It could be said this is even quicker when looking at a photo. Here are some things to avoid.

The Do's and Don'ts for the Perfect Profile Picture

Do's Don'ts
⏩ Show your active lifestyle - whether this includes playing a particular sport or going for leisurely walks in the countryside there is bound to be someone in your age bracket who enjoys the same thing. Flashing the cash or demonstrating wealth or materialism is not a way to impress anyone. Some of our younger users may be interested in this but will not find it attractive, more impressive. No matter which age group you fall in, our users are more interested in the person than whether you have an expensive car or fancy watch.
⏩ Pictures need to be clear, open, and honest. By open and honest we mean that they should not hide anything or be seen to be covering something up! It is also a good idea to have at least one photo that is a full portrait, showing you smiling. Make sure it is recent, not from ten years ago! If you need any help with this then we are sure a friend or family member will assist you! The wrong kind of selfie - selfies are growing in popularity, and not just with the young. However, there is such a thing as the wrong selfie. You do not want a selfie that shows you very drunk, doing something illegal or causing distress/ laughing at someone else's expense. It is also important, especially in the chats for the more mature, that your selfies depict you acting your age.
⏩ Family - now, what you show in this sort of photo will probably depend on your age. If you are more mature and have children then do not shy away from sharing a photo with them, as long as you (and possibly they) are happy for you to do so. Those without children may want to share photos with friends but make sure they are appropriate! Flashing the cash or demonstrating wealth or materialism is not a way to impress anyone. Some of our younger users may be interested in this but will not find it attractive, more impressive. No matter which age group you fall in, our users are more interested in the person than whether you have an expensive car or fancy watch.
⏩ Your interests and hobbies - photos of you doing something you love is another great photo to use. They show the other person a little bit about who you are and what you enjoy doing. No matter what your age you should share a photo of something you enjoy and who knows…you may find someone with the same interests. They need to be able to see you - Make sure you do not come across as hiding in your photos. If you are kneeling or squatting it could give the impression you are hiding something about yourself. Make sure you are clear and can be seen!

To Ask or Not to Ask?

     Asking questions is the basis of every aspect of our day-to-day living. On average we, as adults, ask around 25 to 35 questions a day(!) so we need to make sure that they all count. You want to make sure your new match does not feel like they are being interviewed or interrogated but rather an equal part of an interesting conversation. Here are some questions that you should consider if you want to make a meaningful connection no matter how old you are.

  • ‘How are you today?’ - Now this is not suitable for a first message (lacks creativity) but is still a good question once a connection is made. You can ask your new friends how they are, what they’ve been up to etc which shows your genuine interest in them. Proceed with caution though as you do not want them to get bored or irritated by repeating the same question. Even those of a more mature nature will be bored by the constant repetition of everyday questions!
  • Asking about their family -what you ask here may depend on your age. The younger among you may ask more about siblings whereas the more mature among you may question others about children. Either way, ensure you are not too intrusive and only ask general questions rather than questions that may make your new friend feel uncomfortable. 
  • Everyday life - ask your friend about their job (or past job) and/ or hobbies. If you are unaware of their line of work you can ask questions that give a bit more information. This shows you are interested in their work and not just the social aspects. If you are in a similar line of work you could share stories. Just make sure you do not get too personal such as asking how much they earn or why they retired early.
  • Tell me one thing that….questions. As long as you are not rude or intrusive these can be excellent, especially as an opening question. ‘Tell me one thing that made you smile today’ is excellent and can be answered in as little or as much detail as is desired. Respect what they have to say and they will speak with you more!
  • Ask about where they live - this is an easy topic of conversation that is not too personal and is something they can answer easily while providing you with the opportunity to learn about somewhere new!

Sometimes it is what we do not say or ask that is most important. There are some questions you will want to make sure to avoid in order to keep the conversation going! Here are just a few to consider.

  1. Don’t be intrusive - yes, you will want to find out more about your new friend but there is being interested and then there is just being rude. Intrusive questions are those that have an answer that is very personal such as ‘How much money do you earn each month?’ or ‘Why didn’t your first marriage work out?’. Some intrusive questions can be asked but only when you have an established friendship.
  2. Sex - even our younger users will not want to discuss sex, especially during the early stages, as this is a very personal topic. Whether you are a younger user or more mature this is a topic that needs to be kept for when you are in a more secure friendship.  
  3. Stay relevant and interesting - Yes, you can ask general questions about their day or what the weather is like where they are but not all the time. If these sorts of questions are the foundation of all your conversations your new connection will quickly become an old connection. Members of all ages want their conversations to be interesting, not a snooze fest!

Just remember, if it sounds wrong to ask then it probably is!

What and what not to talk about - which topics do you choose?

     When you are talking with people you have known for a long time most topics can be brought to the table. You can debate things, disagree, and still get on perfectly well afterward. However, when meeting a new person online there are topics that are okay and those that should be avoided. These can vary depending on age but on the whole, can be accurate no matter how old you are. 

  • Ask about their day - it is certainly acceptable to ask the other person how their day has been or what their week has been like. This topic is okay as it is general conversation but make sure not to rely on this as it can get pretty boring if it is the only topic. Asking what the weather's like or what they had for breakfast is fine but if you ask every day it gets mundane. You can change your approach and ask ‘‘what made you smile today?’ or ‘How can I make your day better today?’.
  • Future plans - no, not discussions about marriage plans to have children or when you are retiring, that can come later. Ask them what their plans are for the weekend or where they plan to go on holiday. If you have established that you have similar interests this can make the conversation one that bounces back and forth with ease. 
  • Ask about where they live -this is the perfect way to gain an insight into their life. You can find out what it is like where they live and the traditions of that area. You can also discuss where you are from and the conversation will have a good back and forth with you both asking questions and making comparisons.
  • Childhood - you can discuss your childhood and the events of your life as you grew up but tread carefully. If they did not have a positive experience and are not ready to share this with you yet they may be withdrawn or cut off from this topic. Do this carefully, maybe mentioning funny or interesting stories but do not push for information if it is clear they do not want to give it.  When you consider your age this could be a very interesting topic to see if your experiences of growing up in the 70’s were the same…for example. 
  • Random topics are good - we do not just mean the weather, yawn! You could talk about a film you have seen, your favorite hiking spot, or the amazing recipe you are going to try. You need to keep the conversations relevant and interesting so do not fixate on one topic all of the time and certainly do not concentrate on yourself! This is certainly true of our older members. They are more likely to be interested if the conversation has a strong back-and-forth.

It is important to remember that some areas are a definite no. You do not want to cause upset, anger, or distress. You also do not want to cause the other person to stop talking with you. Here are some topics to avoid!

  • X - Being rude in general - People of all ages try to avoid rude or vulgar behavior. They will not appreciate rude or inappropriate jokes or comments, especially in the early stages.  You need to keep your jokes and comments relevant and clean or potentially lose your new friend.
  • X - Politics and religion - Unless you enter into one of our religion chat rooms then these two areas are probably best to avoid, at least until you know each other better or in person. Politics and religion can be very divisive, especially when two people do not have a connection that they want to keep. In short, both of you may be less tolerant of differing views with someone new, no matter what your age. Avoid these topics until your connection is strong enough to withstand any disagreements. 
  • X - Overly direct or personal - asking how much they earned last year or whether they had all of the COVID-19 jabs are not only extremely personal but are asking for information most people do not wish to share. You do not want your new friend to feel like you are interviewing them or searching for personal information to benefit yourself. Keep the questions relevant and not too personal! However, it could be said that the more mature among you will be more willing to share more personal information than the younger users.

When a more serious, closer connection is made you and your new friend can discuss more sensitive topics. However, we advise that you always ask permission to broach certain topics and if you receive a no then a no it is!

Your Safety is Paramount

     Some people enter the online world and suddenly feel that the rules no longer apply! This is certainly not the case in our chat rooms. When using our chat rooms your first priority should be to make sure you are safe and not at risk. You also want to make sure that the other person feels safe as well. Now, at chat-and-match.com we do everything within our power to make sure all of our users not only feel safe but are safe at all times. We have a contact service for any issues that arise and we monitor our users, making sure they have not had any prior instances of abusing others. One thing to remember is that some of the younger and older members out there can be a bit more innocent, especially online, and may make choices they otherwise wouldn’t. Be careful and read on to make sure you are safe.

  1. Bank details - You would not walk up to a complete stranger in the street and give them your sort code, account number, and the four-digit PIN for your bank card. The same rules apply when using our online chat rooms. In all honesty, if someone is genuinely interested in making a connection with you they will not be asking you for financial assistance in any way. People who do this can sometimes be very clever. They will make you feel sorry for them and create a desire to help them. If you notice this happening you have three options. 1. Give them the money, this is a massive risk that could cause you financial and/ or mental health issues. 2. Call them out on it and ask what their intentions are etc but be warned, if they want to scam you for your money they will lie convincingly or 3. Stop the chat immediately and contact us!
  2. Photos - this is becoming an ever-growing issue in the online world. People share inappropriate photos of themselves with others or use others' images inappropriately. They do this because they think the other person is genuinely interested/ in love with them or to get positive attention. More often than not all that happens is the sender feels bad or dirty for sending such a photo and ends up regretting it a great deal. These photos could be used for any number of inappropriate purposes that could ruin your career and your mental health. 
  3. Meeting offline - be careful and make sure you have established a long-term relationship and are happy that they are who they say they are. No matter how old you are, meeting offline can come with many risks.  We check our members thoroughly but we do not know them as a person. If the time comes that you both agree to meet offline you should also agree to have chaperones, and meet during the day and in a public place. If you are more mature your chaperone could be a child of yours, a sibling, or a close friend. Please do not be scared by this part. We hope that 100% of matches can lead to meeting offline and establishing long-term, successful relationships. If someone asks to meet offline after only a few days then this could be a red flag.

We hope that you have found this article regarding our mixed-age chat rooms interesting and informative. We want all of our members to have the best experience possible while using our services. Just remember to always chat in a respectful, kind manner and in a way that you would like to be treated. Good luck and we hope you find someone you can make a long-lasting connection with!