Talk Chat Rooms. Express Yourself: Finding Love Through Conversations in Talk Chat Rooms

      The modern world can make it very difficult to not only make new relationships but to maintain them. This is due to how fast-paced and career-driven our lives can be. We do not necessarily mean just romantic connections but friendships in general. Many people are so focused on their careers that they quite literally have no time to build a relationship with someone new let alone meet someone new. This often leads to many people feeling lonely and insecure. This can have a detrimental effect on a person's mental health which is something that no one needs or wants. This was a big problem during the late nineties and early 2000s when the online world, in many respects, was in its infancy. However, times have changed and there is now a way to establish meaningful, friendly, and even romantic connections without having to be in the same town as the other person.

The change we are referring to is the introduction of talk or online chat rooms. Some of you may now be nodding along knowingly while others will be staring at the screen wondering what on earth we are talking about. Let us open your eyes to a whole new world. A talk room is just like a normal conversation but you communicate with each other from far away using a phone, laptop, or other electronic device with an internet connection. It is like texting or email but you get a live, immediate response from the other person (as long as they are online). In basic terms you type a message, click send, they read it, and respond (hopefully). The main thing to consider is that you will have not met this person in person before. It is almost like walking up to a complete stranger and starting a conversation…without being able to see them. 

Some of you may now be feeling a tad nervous about embarking on this journey but we assure it is an empowering move that will aid you in making long-term connections. This page will focus on some areas to consider when using our talk rooms. Whether you take our advice or not is entirely up to you but if you want to ensure your talk room experience is a positive one we suggest you read on!

A Positive First Impression is Everything!

     It takes a person less than one second to form an impression of someone they have just met. Now, online this may take a little longer due to not actually being able to see them but you need to make sure you do not cause a negative impression with your very first message. Here we focus on a good way to start a conversation and some general tips for not only your first message but all messages. Let’s begin by looking at the perfect ways to start a conversation for the first time:

  • Being specific is always a good idea as being vague tends to annoy the recipient which could cause them to disconnect. Demonstrating that you have read their profile through phrases such as “You write in your profile that…” or “I notice that…” will make the other person feel more comfortable talking with you as you are not surprising them. Bringing up specific topics from their profile, especially as a first message, will show you have taken the time to find out more about them before your conversation. 
  • Would you rather questions are another fantastic way to start a conversation? They help you start a conversation because they either provoke thought or make someone laugh, either way, you get a response. You could ask things like “Would you rather go back in time or travel to the future?”, “would you rather have 15 million in the bank right now or 50,000 a month for the rest of your life?” or “Would you rather never wear shoes again or never wear jumpers again?”. These almost always get a response but make sure to keep your question clean and be accepting of their answer!
  • A general, open-ended question is another good first message idea as it can provide a lot of information about the other person without having the pressure of answering a complicated or personal question. You can ask “What is going well in your life right now?”. It is highly likely that part of their response will be asking you a similar, if not the same, question. Just be careful, if their response is to only talk about themselves this should act as a red flag. The same goes for you, make sure you don’t always talk about yourself!
  • Deep questioning can be a good approach but only if you are very careful. You could open with deep questions such as “What has been your biggest achievement so far?” or “What is the most meaningful thing to happen to you in life so far?”. Responses to this could be mixed. Be careful as some people do not like to feel pressured into giving personal information like this at the beginning of a connection.  

You could also use the other person's photo to inspire your first message. As the saying goes, a picture speaks a thousand words and could spark a thousand questions.  If you make your opener one that feels like normal conversation you are more likely to get a response. Make sure you give your first message some thought while also following these tips:

  • Be respectful - you must treat the other person the same way online as you would in ‘the real world’. Be polite, listen, and respond accordingly. We would say that respect is the number one factor to keep in mind when chatting to anyone online. Disrespect will only mean people will ignore you in our talk rooms.
  • No rude jokes - Keep it clean, this includes photos, jokes, and comments. If you are rude, whether as a joke or not, you are likely to lose the other person as they will feel you do not respect them or that you are not concerned with offending others. 
  • Make it interesting - A bored person is a person who walks away from your conversations. You need to keep their interest by asking insightful, open questions and listening carefully. Demonstrate that you have listened through making relevant comments, and asking questions relating to previous conversations or what you see in their profile.
  • Make it relevant - don’t focus on the past or comment on something completely irrelevant. They need to know that you are interested in them and not clutching at straws. You need to concentrate on them and try not to go off on too many tangents!

These are just a few tips regarding your first message and any messages after that. If you want your conversations to go well and to form long-lasting relationships (of any kind) you need to make sure you follow these guidelines. The slightest wrong word, comment, or question could cause you to lose your talk room friend!

Perfect Photos or Picture Flops?

As part of your talk room profile, you have the opportunity to post one, or a few, photos that you are happy with others seeing. These photos can either invite someone to make contact with you or cause them to look elsewhere for someone to chat with. You want to make sure your photo causes others in our talk chat rooms to strike up a conversation. Let’s take a look at the ways you can make sure your photo is the best it can be.

  • You will want to make sure your photos are high quality and very clear. It is likely your prospective friend will look at your photo before deciding to read your profile. It is a good idea to make one of your photos a full portrait with you smiling. Most importantly, you need to make sure that your photos are recent. You want to make sure that your talk room friend sees that you have nothing to hide. 
  • Showing yourself doing something that you love or are very interested in is another good idea. Whether your passion is keeping fit, art, cooking, or nature you should post a photo of you immersed in this passion. Not only do these photos add credibility to your account they also give a lot of information to a prospective talk room friend. It will provide a topic of conversation for them to question you about. Just make sure your photo is legitimate. Don’t post a photo of you in an art gallery if you have no interest in art whatsoever. Your new friend will almost feel lied to!
  • If you are an active person then show this. Now, we do not mean a photo of you semi-naked flexing your muscles, or showing your abs. However, if you play a particular sport then a photo of this could invite questions or comments. These sorts of photos provide easy topics of conversation, especially if you both have similar interests. 
  • Pictures with family, friends, and/or animals! These are beautiful photos to use as they show the sort of person you are. These photos not only show the other person that you are real but also give an insight into your character, principles, and general approach to life. Just make sure your friends and/ or family are happy for you to share their photos….we are sure the cat won’t mind!

Just as with messages, an inappropriate photo could cause your talk room journey to be a short-lived and lonely one! Here are some things to avoid.

  • As strange as this may sound, there are definitely the wrong types of selfies! If your selfie shows you as drunk or doing something illegal you are likely to have a very lonely talk room experience. Any selfie should be a clean, appropriate one that is fun and interesting.
  • We are almost 100% sure that most people out there are not impressed by material things or wealth, if they are then they are probably not the sort of person you should associate yourself with. Of course, most people would love to have more money but they do not appreciate someone else’s wealth being flaunted. Your photo should not show you draped over expensive cars, surrounded by luxurious things, or lying on a bed of cash. You will find most people will avoid you because they will feel you are only interested in wealth and showing off or that you are lying to gain attention. Another big issue here is that you may end up attracting the wrong sort of person who will only chat with you in the hope of benefiting themselves (financially).
  • Your photos need to be appropriate. This means there should be no naked or semi-naked photos. There should be no photos of you getting out of the shower. If you have a fantastic body, good for you, but you should not be showing your online friends just yet! People could see you as being self-obsessed and appearance-orientated. You could also attract someone who is superficial and only cares about looks rather than you as a person. 
  • Make sure you are not hiding in your photos. By this, we mean you should not be squatting or kneeling down. This gives the impression that you are hiding something as the other person cannot see you in your entirety.

As with what you write you should think carefully about which photos you add to your profile. You do not want a prospective online friend to be put off by your photos!

Questions in Our Talk Rooms

Questions are the foundation of any conversation and integral to all our lives. It is said that the average adult asks between 25 and 30 questions a day. This means that you need to make sure that all of your questions are relevant or they won’t count! Here we will look at a few good questions to ask your talk room friend.

  • You could simply ask the other person “How are you?” but if used as a first message or used too often will become boring as it lacks creativity. Once a connection is established this will probably be a common occurrence, as it is generally accepted everyday communication, and that is okay as it shows you care about their well-being. 
  • Ask about their family but make sure you are not too personal or intrusive, keep it light and interesting. You can ask if they have siblings or whether they have many cousins but do not dig too deep or you risk offending or upsetting them! 
  • Ask them about their job or, if you have been speaking a little while, how their day at work was. This shows your friend that you are not only interested in their fun, and social side but also their day-to-day life. If you come to realize that you are in the same, or similar, line of work you can ask for advice or discuss this in more detail. 
  • Tell me one thing that… questions. These can be a wonderful tool as long as you are not too intrusive or rude. “Tell me one thing that made you smile today” or “What is one thing that could make your life better today?”. They are thought-provoking and can be returned to keep the conversation flowing. However, make sure you do not mock or criticize their answers. 

Sometimes what we do not ask is just as important as what we do ask. There are some questions we should avoid or save for later in the relationship. Here are a few questions you should avoid, at least in the beginning.

  • Intrusive questioning could cause your conversation to be a non-starter or to end rather abruptly. You will want to find out more about your talk room friend but you want to make sure you are not too personal and that the conversation does not feel like an interview. An example of an intrusive question is “How much money do you take home each month?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?”. This is far too personal, especially in the beginning.
  • Questions regarding sex should be avoided at all costs. You cannot ask the other person about their sexual preferences as this is very personal information. Your talk room friend will definitely not want to talk anymore if you ask such questions. Our talk room conversations should be based on trust and mutual respect.
  • Boring questions should be avoided at all costs! You can, of course, ask how their day went but you should not rely on this sort of question all of the time. Always asking how the weather was or what they had for lunch will get very boring, very fast. A bored person is a person who will not want to talk with you anymore! You need to keep your questions interesting and relevant. 

Something to remember here is that if it feels like you should not ask a question it is probably best you don’t ask it!

To Discuss or To Avoid?

     Sometimes it is hard to know which topics to discuss when we do not know someone very well. This can be a minefield as you do not know them well enough to know potential no-go areas. While you want to make sure you find out information about your talk room friend you do not want it to feel like an interview or that you are only discussing one person. Here are a few ideas of potential topics to discuss.

  • Asking them about the events of their day/week is a general conversation that makes both parties feel comfortable. Not only are you likely to get a response but they will probably return the question giving you both something to talk about and listen to. 
  • You could chat about your future plans. Discuss your, and their, plans for the upcoming weekend. Maybe even ask for ideas of what to do, what film to watch etc. Who knows? In the future, this conversation could be about joint plans!
  • You can have a chat about your, and their, past. This is particularly good if you discuss happy or funny memories from your past. You may share similar experiences, especially if you grew up in the same era. The common ground makes conversation much easier! 
  • Something completely random can be a very good idea such as discussing a recipe, films, music, news (not politics) or a new exercise routine are some good ideas. These topics are the basis of most normal conversations which relieves the pressure in our talk rooms. Just make sure that you do not rely on these too much as it could become boring!
  • Discuss aspects of their, and your, profile! This is key as it shows you have taken the time to get to know them before speaking with them. If you share similar interests or experiences then this is a bonus!

There are some topics that should definitely be avoided, at least until a friendship is established and you are both comfortable discussing them

  • Rude stories or jokes should be avoided until you know your new friend better. Telling a rude joke or asking what size dress they wear should be something you avoid as it may offend or upset the other person.
  • Sometimes in the excitement of conversing with a new person, you forget yourself and say something you probably shouldn’t. This is not a good idea, especially at the beginning of a friendship. Asking the other person who they voted for or how much money they earned is far too personal, especially in the beginning. 
  • Politics should be avoided. You do not want political differences to ruin an otherwise excellent chance at a wonderful relationship. When you and your friend have an established connection your political differences are more likely to be a good topic for friendly debate rather than one that could end your friendship.
  • Avoid boring topics (this may take time to discover) as a bored person is likely to disconnect rather than discuss the same things every day!

After a while of chatting with your talk room friend, you will begin to understand what they enjoy talking about and what upsets/ offends them. They will also learn more about you! Just remember, if you feel like a topic would be sensitive or could offend the other person, either avoid it completely or ask if it is okay to discuss.

Talk Room Safety is Extremely Important

     Some people enter the online world, and talk rooms more specifically, and suddenly feel the normal communication rules no longer apply. Sometimes people try to take advantage of others in this environment. On our site, we do our best to make sure this does not happen! When using our talk rooms your first priority should be to make sure you are safe. You also want to make sure that the other person feels safe as well. We always do everything within our power to make sure all of our users not only feel safe but are safe when using our talk rooms. We have a contact service for any issues that arise and monitor our users, making sure they have not had any prior instances of abusing others. Here are some things to consider to make sure you are safe.

  • Bank details - You would not walk up to a complete stranger in the street and give them your sort code, account number, and the four-digit PIN for your bank card. The same rules apply when using our talk rooms. In all honesty, if someone is genuinely interested in making a connection with you they will not be asking you for financial assistance in any way. People who do this can sometimes be very clever. They will make you feel sorry for them and create a desire to help them. If you notice this happening you have three options. 1. Give them the money, this is a massive risk that could cause you financial and/ or mental health issues. 2. Call them out on it and ask what their intentions are etc but be warned, if they want to scam you for your money they will lie convincingly or 3. Stop the chat immediately and contact us!
  • Photos - this is becoming an ever-growing issue in the online world. People share inappropriate photos of themselves with others. They do this because they think the other person is genuinely interested/ in love with them or to get positive attention. More often than not all that happens is the sender feels bad or dirty for sending such a photo and ends up regretting it a great deal. These photos could be used for any number of inappropriate purposes that could ruin your career and your mental health. 
  • Meeting offline - be careful and make sure you have established a long-term relationship and are happy that they are who they say they are. We check our members thoroughly but we do not know them as a person. If the time comes that you both agree to meet offline you should also agree to have chaperones, and meet during the day and in a public place. Please do not be scared by this part. We hope that 100% of matches can lead to meeting offline and establishing long-term, successful relationships. If someone asks to meet offline after only a few days then this could be a red flag.

We hope that you have found this article regarding our talk rooms interesting and useful. We want all of our members to have the best experience possible while using our services and work hard to ensure this happens. You must remember to always treat others in the same way you wish to be treated, with respect and a listening ear. Good luck in our talk rooms and we hope you find someone you can make a long-lasting connection with!